Campus Politics

To begin, I really don’t care who wins. On principle, I believe that seniors should refrain from participating in end-term campus politics. Enjoy the circus, as it were.

I was worrying about where to get BenGay for my aching muscles (committing yourself to the life of a gym rat is a bitch), when I ran into Ona outside the auditorium. She was taking part in that Human Rights program related to the protection of women and talking to several policemen of the PNP women’s desk (I hate being politically correct, but the policemen were women). I wished her luck in her campaign as I wish all candidates luck. She then wailed to me about how particularly dirty this election season has been – black propaganda and all.

Come on, people! It’s the first serious display of party-level politics on campus and we’re responding how? 4A is making a “Republic”; Ralph is being Ralph by issuing a memo to everyone (snicker). A MEMO! Kulang na lang from: RVC to: all at cc: CLV; and everyone left and right is issuing an open letter: STM, Tin de los Reyes of the 4D “Junta”; and last of all, me. Perhaps it’s because I miss my column in the Palladium. Whatever.

The open letters I’ve received so far have one theme in mind: they all decry the black propaganda on campus. I’ve got news for these people: all elections are dirty because politics in itself is dirty. Nothing is sacred when the objective of the activity is to win the hearts and minds of a people. I should know. My heart got broken many times when I ran for student office two years ago.

However, to focus on the mudslinging is only looking at the small picture. What warms the heart is that so many people now care about the school. The Constitution is really working, and everyone is getting a legal workout, especially the CEJA people. In fact, I heard a CEJA member say that drafting the decision was harder than class.

Now, with all dirty campaign posters, and all the mudslinging, and with my aching muscles, I am pissed. I am so pissed I am going to vote against everyone who’s asked for my vote. In other words, I am going to write down the following as write-ins for the elections:

President: Michael Vincent Mate – a charismatic President without a butt and a growing belly.
EVP: Avelino Tolentino III – tell me this doesn’t make sense.
IVP: Clifton Sawit – we can finally place a Gestapo!
Treasurer: Francis Acero – MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I know where the money is
SecGen: Iya Buzeta – the better to cover my tracks MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

I’ll vote ABSTAIN for the batch reps. You don’t need reps. I’ve done more reps than they have (20 reps, 2 sets).

Carthago delenda est.


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